divorce, health, mistake, relationship, single mom, Uncategorized

The Power of a Piece of Paper

I’ve poured through the divorce papers and had both DD and my dad read over them and share their thoughts.

There’s this piece called a “Temporary Domestic Order” I don’t like.  It’s a standard state form.  Part of it makes sense in any legal case or potentially volatile situation.  But a lot of it doesn’t really fit with the circumstances I’m in.  So I think I’ll look for a lawyer to help me understand exactly what it means and how it can be re-written and returned.  Also, he misspelled my middle name.  Oh and right, he couldn’t remember what it was so I’d spelled it out for him.  How flattering, my husband didn’t know my name.

I’ve had several people advise me I ought to fight for every cent I can get out of Man-baby.  They say he deserves to pay for how he’s treated me and the kiddos.  But I don’t really want anything.  I have enough put away to cover the basics long enough to figure out what I want to do with myself.  I know I can count on DD for help, he won’t walk out on his daughter.  And he won’t walk out on me.

I am disappointed that I can’t just sign the papers as they are and have my freedom and my name back.  But I want to make sure I do this right and don’t sign anything that could haunt me for years.  Being rushed into this marriage didn’t work out so well for me.  He’s, again, trying to rush me but I’m taking it one day at a time and putting much thought into all of the choices I am confronted with.

But still, I itch for having that Final Decree signed by a judge and in my hand. I’m trying to focus on healthy, simple living.  This corpse hanging around my neck isn’t helping me move forward.

And I want to be able to really be with DD.  He deserves my focus, this kind, patient man who has stuck loyally to my children and I for nearly 6 years.  Silly me, he was so close I couldn’t see him until I fell and his was the hand that caught me.  I don’t feel like I can morally pursue another relationship until I’m completely divorced.  So for now we focus on just enjoying each others’ company and spending time with our kids.  It does feel unreal still, that I could, in fact, be really in love with my daughter’s dad….  after all we went through together over the years it is also the most natural thing in the world.



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