I signed my divorce papers today. Now I just wait for the letter that means I can change my name back. I’ll be hard pressed not to check the mail every time I leave the house. I know it will reasonably be a few weeks but I can’t wait to be me again.
As I do wish to keep this blog anonymous I can’t tell you either name. But my maiden name is cool, in the same twisted way Cecil B Demented is cool. And my married name is just not me. I never did feel right writing it somehow.
Changing my name was like losing my face. It was certainly a mistake.
There is always a chance I will someday be convinced to remarry. But I’ll keep my own name.
And so I wait for the mail. So I can spend days fixing my social security card and driver’s license and bank accounts and utility statements.
I am drained and weary from the day. I ran like being chased by hungry dinosaurs all day. And I am so relieved to be done with it. I can finally start to relax and heal, start to move forward.
The drama and excitement of my marriage have worn me out. I don’t like exciting relationships. I prefer to get my excitement from watching my seeds sprout up and picking the first fresh veggies. Maybe reading a page turner or solving a puzzle. Yeah I know, I’m a nerd, I confessed to that already. I prefer the exciting romance of coming up with the perfect song response. The exciting romance of endless screaming fests and sleepless nights listening to a pissed of Man-baby just weren’t for me.
And now, at long last, I can focus on building and living a healthy life.