divorce, health, mistake, relationship, words

Waiting for the Mail

I signed my divorce papers today.  Now I just wait for the letter that means I can change my name back.  I’ll be hard pressed not to check the mail every time I leave the house.  I know it will reasonably be a few weeks but I can’t wait to be me again.

As I do wish to keep this blog anonymous I can’t tell you either name.  But my maiden name is cool, in the same twisted way Cecil B Demented is cool.  And my married name is just not me.  I never did feel right writing it somehow.

Changing my name was like losing my face.  It was certainly a mistake.

There is always a chance I will someday be convinced to remarry.  But I’ll keep my own name.

And so I wait for the mail.  So I can spend days fixing my social security card and driver’s license and bank accounts and utility statements.

I am drained and weary from the day.  I ran like being chased by hungry dinosaurs all day.  And I am so relieved to be done with it.  I can finally start to relax and heal, start to move forward.

The drama and excitement of my marriage have worn me out.  I don’t like exciting relationships.  I prefer to get my excitement from watching my seeds sprout up and picking the first fresh veggies.  Maybe reading a page turner or solving a puzzle.  Yeah I know, I’m a nerd, I confessed to that already.  I prefer the exciting romance of coming up with the perfect song response.  The exciting romance of endless screaming fests and sleepless nights listening to a pissed of Man-baby just weren’t for me.

And now, at long last, I can focus on building and living a healthy life.



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