Yesterday looked to be a beautiful day. Little Girl and I were having a lovely time in the garden. We had the irrigation running and were planting tomatoes.
When a certain grey pick-up pulled up. And out stumbled Man-baby. Despite that I have directly and clearly stated that he is not to come to my house without having prior permission. He had put his wedding ring back on and was wearing the t-shirt from our honeymoon. He claimed to have come to apologize.
My blood boils to think that he is still trying to manipulate me. It pretty well ruined my day. He wouldn’t leave. I sent Little Girl in and told her she could watch a movie so she wouldn’t be exposed to the toxic bullshit that spews from his every pore.
He tried to say he’d realized what he’d done, that I’m in the right. But it is oh, so clear he doesn’t get it at all.
He has sent dozens of texts since then. Supposedly because I deserve an explanation. What it really means is he’s making excuses, trying to alleviate his guilt and at the same time guilt trip me.
I’m so tired of his games. I just want him to go away. It is nearly impossible to focus on building a healthy life for me and the kiddos with all that static.
So I have, yet again, explicitly stated that he is not to come here, that I don’t care about his apologies or explanations and think they are silly excuses. I have made sure to do this via text message so that I can document having said it and that he replied and clearly read it.
For this is rapidly turning into stalking and harassment. And I won’t be putting up with it. There is no room in my life to deal with him anymore.
I can’t help but wonder what goes through his mind. It must be a miserable existence. Is he even capable of understanding how other people see his behavior? How does someone getting to be so twisted inside that they do not understand the basic rules of human interaction? Most two year olds have more developed social and emotional skills than he has. Unfortunately this is no exaggeration.
So what do I do? There is no way to reason with him. He cannot respect boundaries or even basic manners. But I will not be violated. I should be safe to work in my garden without worrying about being ambushed. I should be safe to leave my phone on without having it interrupt me every few minutes with a nasty message.
So I document everything. I booby trap my doors at night when DD is not close. I remain alert and wary. I focus on taking care of myself and my children. And I prepare myself to take this to court, to ask the law to order him to leave me alone.