divorce, fatherhood, mistake, motherhood, nerd date, parenting, relationship, single mom, Uncategorized

The Cast, Part II, DD

I have family in town for the weekend and may not have another chance to post for a few days so, in honor of Father’s Day I’ll tell you a bit about DD.

He and I met on the first day of Physics class way back in August of 2006.  He had just been released from active duty and enrolled in community college on the GI bill.

The first times we talked we were smoking cigarettes on a bench in nook crammed between buildings.  I sat on the back of the bench and put my feet on the seat.  I remember him standing there, facing me, shaking like a leaf on an aspen tree.

We talked about physics, C++, and going back to college in our mid-twenties.  We bonded over our scars, our survival.

By spring 2007 we were brave enough to start dating.  Not long after, oops!, two pink lines.  We tried, oh so hard, to keep it together.  But by November we split.  Little Girl was born January 2008.

And DD never gave up on us.  He came faithfully every weekend to see her.  He worked crappy jobs while taking extra classes.  And we were both true to our word that we would not fight over or in front of the kids.  It was hard, we bit our tongues a lot, we stayed focused on being parents, being adults for her sake.

I started dating again.  And dumped him because he wasn’t DD.  And another one for the same reason.  And I got married.

But Man-baby is an abuser and an alcoholic who can’t respect the basic rights and boundaries of others.  And in the chaos and soul searching I went through as a result of all that and my divorce I realized that DD is worth 100 of most men.

I gave him a heartfelt and long over due apology for my part in all our problems.  And we have been re-building our family ever since.


Today he has taken Little Girl to the playground as Little Boy went fishing with my neiflings.

He is an awesome Dad.  He has spent endless hours on the floor with the kids, in the dirt with the kids, at the playground, on the computer, reading stories, playing pretend.  He is so patient with them, never tiring of the questions, the repetition, the tedium.

I am blessed to have this man to raise my family with.  He has come so far the last six years.  That is the trait I like best, that he is always moving forward, not just in life but in himself.  He is smart and strong and handsome but what brought me back, what means I’ll always stay, is that he is loyal and patient, faithful and moral, honest and kind.  He keeps learning and likes teaching.

So Happy Father’s Day!  What traits to you love most about the men in your life?



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